Who Holds Your Heart?

"Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep.  How priceless is your unfailing love, O God" Psalm 36:5-9.

The phone rang and I froze. I swallowed deep and cleared my throat. What did I have to be nervous about? It was just a boy calling. No, not just a boy...it was a man. A man I had met online, who loved Jesus, who made me laugh, who knew me less than 24 hours, who had made the first move, who asked for my number, who asked if he could call...but now he was actually calling! Who does that anymore?! Oh right...a man.

I loved the idea of all those things but it was amazing how, when your dreams become a reality, the reality of disappointment and fear come crashing in with them. I was suddenly confronted by insecurities that had not seen the light of day for over five years and let’s just say that the nerves were real. In those few moments from the time the phone first rang to the time I answered, it was as if I had already talked myself out of liking him, talked myself out of a future, talked myself out of the moment and back to the safety of the dream.

Reality can be scary at times, but then it struck me. What do I have to fear? God's love for me was so deep and wide, so high and vast, so unfailing. If I could just remember that He held my heart, not this man- that He held my dreams, not this man- that His truth was the only reality I needed...then what was there to fear?  

Who knows what may happen between this man and I. Who knows if we will grow old together or never speak again. But one thing I do know, God's love is unfailing and whatever lies ahead I can step into with confidence knowing that He holds my heart in His hands. 

Jesus, help me to trust in you and to never let my fear of the future be greater than the truth of your unfailing love for me! 


Sarah Witmer