The Struggle for Beach Body Perfection
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well” Psalm 139:14.
I'm struggling with control right now. This time last year I was at my fittest level ever. I was long, lean, had amazing muscles and for the first time in my life didn't feel sad when I looked in the mirror. I was proud because I had lost a ton of weight, worked out hard, and made my body what it was. I took control of my life, I made the changes, I did the work and I saw the results. Sense a theme here? I, I, I.
Fast forward to now. I am 15 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby and let me tell you, things just are not the same. It doesn't matter that I'm still working out all week and hiking on the weekends. My body is growing a human and everything is changing. My arms aren't quite as pretty anymore, my thighs have taken on a zip code of their own, I am feeling more full-faced and self conscious already, and I'm not even half way. There is a lot of self-loathing going on and frankly, it's starting to make me sick that I'm feeling this way.
I want to snap my fingers and point a finger in my face and say, SNAP OUT OF IT, GIRLFRIEND. But I can't. I'm supposed to feel beautiful and lovely while pregnant and I feel everything opposite. The cold, hard truth of the matter is that every time I shame myself and my body for how it's changing? I am shaming God, and wow, that's a gut-punch.
He made us in His image. In his likeness. We are perfect in his sight. And my gosh, the baby that's forming in my womb? Is also made in His image. God knows every hair on their head, already! Wow, what a wonderful Father we have who knows us and creates us with such love and detail.
God, help me to change my perspective on myself and this body you've given me. You've given me health, you've given me a healthy womb, you created me and this baby in your likeness. Help me know and remember the power that holds, and to love myself through all these changes. Amen.
WRITTEN BY KATIE BALLA