Heartbreak & Heartache

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” Revelation 21:4.


Heartbreak is a funny thing. No. No, it’s not. But it is interesting that it is a physical feeling; that ache in your chest. The fast heart beats. Blurred vision. Pain like you’ve never felt, or want to believe doesn’t exist. So deep and real you’re shocked by the weight of it. It comes at different times in our lives for different reasons.

The first time my heart broke was the night before my boyfriend’s high school graduation. It was like a drive-by… his friends waiting in the car for him to just get it over with. It may have been a high school relationship, but the aftermath left a deep mark on who I would become in the years ahead.

This latest heartbreak came a full eight years later, and despite all of that time of personal growth and maturity, hurts eight times worse. The pain lingers in a way I can’t describe. Each time I remember, my heart cringes within my chest and my mind yells its protests.

But as I look back on the many times I’ve cried before, I can see from where I am now that there was no need for all of that dramatic misery. I was going to be just fine. Better, in fact, than I was before. Things were coming that I had no idea to be excited for. God would take me by the hand and give me all the time I needed to realize He had already healed me.

Now, as I dwell in the full truth of what has happened, I know there is a future self who wants to take me by the hand, smooth my hair, and tell me I am going to be fine. I am already healed. I may need time for my frustratingly slow brain and heart to comprehend it, but I am okay. God is here with me, and I am His.

Dear Lord, wrap me in your arms. Your love is all I need, and I need it now more than ever.